Ipi ni njia sahihi ya kumpata mwenzi wako?

Nakumbuka hapa kanisani kwetu siku moja kulikuwa na semina ya vijana. Mwishowe akasimama kaka mmoja ambaye umri ulikuwa umesonga! Sasa akamwuliza mwalimu (mchungaji) kuwa kwanini kwa miaka yote zaidi ya 5 amekaa katika wokovu na Mungu hajampa mke? akasema kuwa yeye alikuwa amekaa mkao tu wa kusubiri aletewe mke kutoka kwa Bwana kama maandiko yasemwavyo kuwa “mke mwema mtu hupewa na Bwana”. Naomba waalimu mzidi kutufundisha kama jitihada za ziada zinahitajika kwa kupata mke/mume. Kwa ufahamu wangu wake hawatakiwi kutafuta ila ni waume tu.

Pia ushauri kwa mabinti wenzangu, jiandae kuwa mke mwema sawa na Mithali 31:10.

Dynes Peter

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44 thoughts on “Ipi ni njia sahihi ya kumpata mwenzi wako?

  1. Shalom wapendwa,
    wenye ufahamu juu ya hili watuambie wengine tuko njia panda km mimi.ndio niko njia panda kabisaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
    jmn naomba msaada wenu!
    Naomi

  2. Kuhusu jinsi ya kupata mke mwema, kuna kitabu kimeandikwa na Pd. Mbiku wa parokia ya Mlimani chuo kikuu cha Dar Es Salaam, ameeleza kila kitu humo. nafikiri kinaitwa Uchumba na Ndoa (kama sikosei)

  3. Bwana apewe sifa kaka Remy, hicho kitabu cha uchumba na ndoa naweza kukipata wapi?kama kuna sehemu unafahamu vinapatikana naomba unijulishe!

    Barikiwa sana mpendwa!

  4. PRAISE THE LORD, Mimi ninamchumba tunategemea kufunga ndoa August mwakani.

    Naomba niwashauri mabinti/kaka kama wafuatavyo.
    1. MAPENZI YA MUNGU YATIMIZWE: Tunapoomba MUNGU atupe wenzi wa maisha, tusiweke matakwa yetu ya kibinadamu, tumuombe Mungu atupe wenzi kulingana na mapenzi yake, kwa sababu mimi niliomba anipe mwenzi ambaye ni mrembo, ni kweli nilipata mrembo sana, lakini nilikuja gundua kuwa hakuwa ametulia,alikuwa muhuni.

    2. KWA KUWA TUMEOKOKA,TUSEME UKWELI: Kama umepata mwenzi ni bora kufahamishana historia zetu za uchumba/mahusiano kabla ya kukutana, na tuelezane ukweli. Mchumba wangu yeye pia aliwahi kunieleza historia yake ambao si kama yangu, yeye aliwahi kulazimishwa kuzini na mchumba wake wa zamani,siku ambayo alimfungia ndani,ndio ukawa mwisho wa uchumba wao.

    3.ZINAA: Vijana wengi sana siku hizi wanafanya zinaa,wengine wakiamini kuwa wanawaficha watu, lakini MUNGU hawamfichi kwa kwa sababu yeye anaona kila kitu. Wengine wanasimama kufungishwa ndoa wakiwa tayari mabinti matumbo yamebeba watoto, kitu ambacho ni dhambi. Hivyo kijana mwenzangu, pengine inawezekana kuwa yeye unafanya zinaa na mtu ambaye amekuahidi kukuoa/kuoa, na unafikiria kuwa ukiacha yeye atakukataa au unafikiria kuwa ukiacha hautaweza kuishi, NATAKA NIKUAMBIE OMBA MUNGU NA ATAKUWEZESHA,mimi nina mchumba wangu kwa miaka kadhaa hatujawahikufanya zinaa,tumesimama vizuri kabisa na tuasonga mbele.

    4. UKIMWI: Mbali ya kuwa zinaa ni dhambi kwa MUNGU, pia UKIMWI umetapakaa sana katika jamii yetu,hivyo vijana tuache zinaa,tukipata wenzi wa maisha tupime kabla ya ndoa natukiwa kwenye ndoa,tufanye tendo la ndoa na wake/waume zetu tu,kama BIBLIA inavyoelekeza.

    5. TUJITUNZE: Wakinadada na wakina kaka tujitunze na kuipenda miili yetu kwa kusubiri kufanya tendo la ndoa tukiwa ndani ya ndoa, na si kabla ya ndoa. Kwani inaleta heshima na uaminifu mkubwa sana ndani ya ndoa.

    Nami zamani ilikuwa ngumu kwangu kusimama, NAMSHUKURU MUNGU sana kwa mapito yangu, kwani yamenifanya nisimame sana na kuimarika na kuwa kama nilivyo hivi sana.

    NAWAPENDA WOTE,
    MUNGU AWABARIKI SANA.

  5. SHALOM WAPENDWA WOTE.

    NI KWELI KABISA HATA MIMI HILI SUALA LA JINSI YA KUPATA MUME MWEMA AU MKE MWEMA LINANICHANGANYA KWANI MARA NYINGI WATU WENGI HUWA WANASEMA MUME MWEMA HUTOKA KWA MUNGU JE UTAMJUAJE?

    ILA NI KWELI KABISA KILA KITU TUKIOMBACHO KWA MUNGU HUTUPATIA KAMA TUTAMWOMBA KWA ROHO NA KWELI ILA KWA UPANDE WA MUME WAPENDWA MIMI BINAFSI YANGU INANISHINDA KUWATAMBUA KUTOKANA NA DUNIA YA LEO KWANI KUNA BAADHI YA WANAUME KWA KWELI WANATUDANGANYA SANA.
    ILA KAMA JINSI WENZANGU WALIVYO NA KIU YA KUMPATA MUME MWEMA HATA NA MIMI NINATAMANI SANA ILA NI BASI NIMEMWACHIA MUNGU.
    NA ZAIDI NI MCHANGO WA MAOMBI YENU NDIO VITANIWEZESHA KUMPATA MUME MWEMA.

    MUNGU AZIDI KUWAINUA.

  6. Mimi challenge ninayokutana nayo ni kwamba wanaume waliookoka makanisani ni wachache sana na kama wapo, either wameoa, wazee, ama ni watoto. Pia mafundisho yanayolenga vijana (singles) hapa kwetu hamna kama ilivyo nchi za wenzetu. Hata makazini wanaume wengi hawajaokoka kwa hiyo unakuta a single lady like me niko surrounded na wanaume ambao hawajaokoka, na pindi nikitoka kazini kila siku jioni naenda kwenye ibada ya jioni kanisani nakurudi nyumbani. Hayo ndio maisha yangu ninayoishi. Sasa huyu mpendwa mume ntampata wapi? Labda waliofaulu katika jambo hili (kuolewa/kuoa) watuelimishe hapa. Na maombi pia ni muhimu.

  7. KAMA MUNGU AKINIPA NEEMA NITAWEZA KUANDAA SOMO LA MSAADA KWA WOTE WALIO KATIKA HATUA YA KUELEKEA KUWA NA WENZI WAO WA MAISHA.
    HATA HIVYO NAPENDA KUWAJULISHA KUWA KUNA VITABU VINGI VYA MAFUNDISHO YANAYOHUSU SUALA HILI LAKINI MENGI YAMEJAA NADHARIA AMBAZO NDIZO ZINAZOTAKIWA LAKINI SI HALISI KATIKA UTEKELEZAJI.
    NI VYEMA PIA TUKASOMA HIVYO KWANI ROHO WA MUNGU ANA KITU AMBACHO KITAWASAIDIA VIJANA NA WATU WALIO KATIKA WAKATI HUU NA HATA WALIOPITA KATIKA HALI HIYO ILI WAJI EVALUATE WENYEWE.
    SOMENI PIA KITABU KIITAWACHO TENDO LA NDOA,KUCHAGUA MCHUMBA N.K AMBAVYO VINAPATIKANA KWENYE MADUKA YA KIMAHAMA.
    MUNGU AWABARIKI.

  8. Mpendwa dada yangu wewe si mtu wa kwanza kukutana na mtazamo kama huo wa kujiona unapunukiwa na watu muhimu katika maisha yako ya kila siku kama mtu aliyeokoka.
    Nabii Eliya naye alikutana na wakati kama huo unaposoma kitabu cha 1Wafalme sura ile ya 19:13-18. Lakini jawabu la Mungu kwake lilikuwa ni “NIMEJISAZIA WATU ELFU SABA WASIOMPIGIA GOTI BAALI”
    Tambua kuwa yupo mume wako miongoni mwa wana wa Mungu na ya kuwa wakati muafaka ukifika na ukidumu katika kumtafakari Mungu utaonana naye naye atakuoa. Ni vyema sasa ujifunze kutoka katika neno la Mungu na watumishi wake namna ya kumsikia Roho wa Mungu anapozungumza na kukuelekeza. Pia jifunze namna ya kupokea majibu kutoka kwa Mungu. Kamwe usisikilize yale unayoyaona kwa macho ama unayoyasikia kwa masikio ya nyama kwani neno la Mungu linasema katikak 2Kor5:7 kuwa TUNAENENDA KWA IMANI SI KWA KUONA. Kwa wakati wako soma na amini neno hili lililo katika Marko11:24.
    MUNGU AKUBARIKI SANA

  9. Mpendwa Dynes,

    Natumaini wewe ndiye Dynes Peter, uliyeandika ujumbe ambao umewekwa kwenye Kichwa cha Mjadala huu. Na uliandika kwamba kuna siku moja kwenye semina kanisani kwenu alisimama kijana mmoja ambaye umri ulikuwa umesonga akauliza kwamba mbona miaka yote 5 ALIYOKAA KWENYE WOKOVU MUNGU HAJAMPA MKE.
    Lakini ni wewe yule yule umeandika kwamba WANAUME WALIOOKOKA MAKANISANI NI WACHACHE SANA na waliopo wameoa, wazee au watoto…. Nitaanzia kutoka katika maneno yako kisha niendelee…

    Kwanza kabisa sifahamu kama huyo kaka ambaye umri wake ulikuwa umesonga ameshaoa au bado. Lakini naomba umfikishie ujumbe huu kwamba WOKOVU SI KWA AJILI YA KUPATA MKE AU MUME mwema. Katika maneno uliyoandika kuhusu huyu mtu yanaonyesha kabisa alikuwa na imani isiyo sahihi. Yaonyesha aliokoka kwa sababu aliambiwa ukiookoka utapata mke maana mke mwema hutoka kwa Bwana. Kwa hiyo yeye akawa na mawazo kwamba WOKOVU NDIYO MCHAKATO WA KUPATA MKE, tena mwema! Wengi wamepotoka/wamepotoshwa katika hili. WOKOVU SI KWA AJILI YA KUMPATIA MTU MKE/MUME. WOKOVU NI KWA AJILI YA KUPATA UZIMA WA MILELE full stop! Mengine ni marupurupu tu ndani ya Yesu. Kama ni kwa ajili tu ya kuoa/kuolewa basi watu waliooa/kuolewa tayari wasingekuwa wanaokoka baada ya kukutana na injili. Hii inafanana na injili ya kuwaambia watu kwamba ‘Ukiokoka utakuwa tajiri maana kwa Mungu kuna utajiri na heshima’. Wengi pia wamekumbwa na kupotoshwa na mafundisho haya. Wanakimbilia makanisani ili wapate utajiri…na utajiri wasipouona wanasema ‘mbona nimeshaookoka miaka mingi sasa lakini bado ni masikini”. . .
    Kijana asiyemwamini Yesu pia ataoa/ataolewa. Lakini uwezekano mkubwa ni kuoa/kuolewa na mtu ambaye ni hatari. kwa sababu hakuna uongozi wala ulinzi wa Mungu. Wengi wameolewa/wameoa wachawi. Wengi wameolewa na au kuoa majambazi nk. Hapa ndipo unapata faida mojawapo ya wokovu kwamba unapofikia hatua ya kuoa au kuolewa Mungu atakusaidia kukuepusha usiolewe na/usioe mtu mwenye tabia mbaya mfano wa nilizotaja hapo juu. Wokovu huu wa kuokoka ili mtu apate mke/mume ndio huu ambao baada ya mtu kuoa/kuolewa hubadilika na kuwa mtu tofauti kabisa. Hii ni kwa sababu huwa amepata alichokuwa akikitafuta. Vijana waliookoka na kuishi maisha matakatifu hupewa Macho na Ufahamu toka kwa Mungu ili wasijeingia kwenye mitego ya watu hawa. Yawezekana kabisa pia huyo kaka ambaye muda wake ulikuwa umesonga ni Mungu alikuwa amezuwia wadada wasinaswe naye hadi hapo atakapokuwa amejuwa kikamilifu KUSUDI LA WOKOVU!

    Halafu unaposema kwamba makanisani kuna waliooa na wazee na watoto peke yao si kweli maana huyo ‘kaka aliyekuwa amesonga umri’ alikuwepo au bado yupo hapo kanisani kwenu. Na alikuwa anatafuta mke.(hujasema kama ameshapata). Na wako wengi sana makanisani kote! Lakini pia haiko hivyo kwamba mtu ataoa au kuolewa na mtu kutoka kanisani kwake tu, au kazini kwake tu nk. Huko ni kumuwekea Mungu mipaka. Wengi wameoa au kuolewa na watu kutoka makanisa mengine. Watu wengi wametoka Mwanza na kwenda kuoa Dar, au Mbeya na kwenda kuoa Bukoba nk.. .Kwa hiyo hakuna sababu ya kuweka matumaini yote kwa wale unaowaona wakipita karibu yako. Mdada ukikaa vizuri na Mungu, Mungu aweza mwotesha ndoto mkaka mpendwa aliyeko sehemu mbali na ulipo na akaonyeshwa kwako. (siyo kanuni, ni mfano tu, ingawa hiyo hutokea pia) Watu wa Mungu TUNACHOKOSA SASA NI KUKAA NA MUNGU KIKAMILIFU na hivyo tunakosa faida nyingi za wokovu!

    Kuanza kuona kuwa wanaume wakuzungukao wote ni wale wasiomwamini Yesu na kwamba kwa kuwa wewe mzunguko wako ni KAZINI, KANISANI na NYUMBANI hivyo ni wapi utampata mume mpendwa…..Hiyo ni dalili ya mtu kukata tamaa. Nimeshaeleza jinsi ambavyo tusiweke mpaka kwamba mume mwema lazima ukutane naye kwenye mizinguko ya kila siku ya maisha. Lakini nataka kuweka ANGALIZO hapo…Mdada akishafikia hali ya kuona mzunguko wake wa maisha hauwezi kumu-expose kwa wakaka ndipo huwa rahisi kuingiliwa na mahubiri ya adui kwamba lazima atoke-toke out za mara kwa mara ili aongeze exposure. Exposure ya mkaka/mdada aliyeokoka ni katika shughuli za Mungu. Fanya bidii kanisani na katika shughuli zinazohusu ufalme wa Mungu. Ji-keep bussy na mambo ya Mungu. Huko ndiko exposure yako iliko! Exposure isiyotokana na shughuli kwa ajili ya Mungu itaku-expose mikononi mwa adui! Linda wokovu wako mdada/mkaka. Hata hivyo mtu aliyeokoka ataingia mbinguni bila mume wala bila mke.

    Sasa tuangalie mfano mmoja kwenye Biblia katika kitabu cha Mwanzo 24. Katika sura hii tunapata habari za jinsi Isaka alivyopata mke. Baba yake Isaka aliamuru mke wa Isaka atafutwe katika ukoo wa Abraham – kwa tafsiri ya sasa ni kwamba mkaka/mdada aliyeokoka apaswa aowe/aolewe katika jamii ya watu waliooloka. Yule mtumishi wa Abrahamu aliyetumwa kutafuta mke kwa ajili ya Isaka alimuomba Mungu na kuweka vigezo alivyokuwa anahitaji binti awe navyo kwa ajili ya mke wa Isaka. Aliweka vigezo kuhusiana na tabia ya mke huyo kuhusiana na moyo. Yeye aliweka kigezo cha UKARIMU. Binti aliyekuja onyesha tabia hiyo pia akawa ni mrembo 24:16-20).Zilikuwa ni hatua rahisi lakini zikiongozwa na Mungu mwenyewe. Mshenga alitoka mbali na maeneo alikokuwa mdada na wala hapakuwa na uchumba wa muda mrefu kama ilivyo sasa. Kisingizio kilichopo sasa huwa ni KUCHUNGUZANA. Lakini ukweli ni kwamba Binaadaamu hawezi kumchunguza mwingine. Vi vema tukaacha Mungu amchunguze mwenzi wako ndipo awakutanishe. Siyo kuchumbiana kwanza halafu kuchunguzana kunafuata. Huko ni kubahatisha. Ni sawa na kupapasa gizani. Mungu akishamuonyesha mtu mwenzi wake hapahitajiki tena muda wa kuchunguzana, labda kama si Mungu aliyekuwa amesema. Hivyo hapa tunaona muda wa uchumba ambao umekuwa ukifika hadi miaka kadhaa ni kibinaadamu kabisa na wala si ki-Kristo.

    Watu wa Mungu tumepoteza dira kwa sababu tumeifuatisha mno namna ya dunia. Watu waliookoka sasa wanachumbiana na kuanza kutembeleana hadi wanaanza kutembelea watu kwa pamoja utafikiri wameshaoana tayari. Watu walioko gizani wanafanya hivyo pia. Sasa utakuta uchumba ukivunjika inakuwa ni fedheha sana maana mlishajionyesha hadharani kama tu mke na mume vile. Hii nayo si ki-Biblia. Zamani (wokovu ulipoingia nchini) ilikuwa wachumba ni siri yao labda na mchungaji. Na kama ni lazima sana kuonana ilikuwa ni lazima pawe na mtu mwingine wa tatu kati yao. Hii ilikuwa inalinda ushuhuda pamoja na kuwalinda wachumba wasijingize wenyewe majaribuni. Hofu ya Mungu ndiyo ilikuwa inaongoza jambo hili. Na wahusika walikuwa na amani na furaha ya wokovu ndani yao. Ndoa za watu waliooana enzi hizo zilidumu hadi mwisho wa maisha yao na nyingine zinadumu hadi sasa (kwa walio hai). Lakini uchumba wa sasa ni aibu! Utakuta ni wachumba tu lakini utakuta hadi mdada anafua nguo za mkaka, wanapika wanakula pamoja nk. Halafu utashangaa kusikia eti wanatarajia kufunga ndoa miaka miwili baadaye! …sababu?…BADO WANACHUNGUZANA! Haingii akilini! KAMA MKAKA HUJAJIKAMILISHA KWA AJILI YA KUOA USICHUMBIE!

    Watu wanaomjuwa Yesu wanahitaji a TURNING POINT. Kanisa sasa linahitaji TURNINNG POINT ili kuwarejeza waaminio katika njia sahihi ya namna ya kupata mwenzi. Hii itaepusha waaminio kulia kama wasioamini. Kama wanaojiita wameokoka wanapata mikasa sawa na wasioamini – I WAPI FAIDA YA WOKOVU?

    Dyness ametaja kitu muhimu sana kwamba mafundisho makanisani kuhusu jambo hili hayapo tena. Lakini sababu ni kwamba hakuna walimu. Wale waliotakiwa wafundishe usahihi wa mambo haya wao wenyewe ndoa zao na mapito yao hayana ushuhuda mwema mbele za Mungu na machoni pa watu. Kwa hiyo inakuwa vigumu kufundisha kitu ambacho wewe mwenyewe mwalimu hufanyi hivyo. Ndoa nyingi za watumishi wa Mungu ziko kwenye migogoro. Ni wachache wanaweza kutangaza hadharani kwamba ndoa zao ni mfano wa kuiga. KWA NINI?. . . Kwa sababu:
    1). Mke/mume alichaguliwa kwa mtazamo wa kibinaadamu
    2). Mke/mume ameiacha njia ya wokovu (maana binaadamu hubadilika).
    Lakini kwa hali halisi semina za mafundisho kuhusu namna ya kupata mke/mume ni vema zikarejeshwa makanisani na kama zipo basi ziimarishwe!

    Tuendelee kujifunza!

  10. Nimesoma kidogo kuhusu uchangiaji wa mada hii, mimi nakubaliana na wachangiaji wote na Mungu awabariki. Pamoja na kukubaliana nao, napenda kuongezea kidogo kuhusu umhimu wa vijana wawe wa kiume na wa kike kutafuta mapenzi ya Mungu katika suala hili.

    Suala la kupata mwenzi wa maisha ni nyeti sana, maana huyo ni mtu ambaye atakuwa na wewe siku zote mpaka kifo kiwaachanishe, vilevile, huyu ni mtu ambaye mnatarajiwa kuwa na watoto ambao ni baraka kutoka kwa Mungu, lakini tukumbuke kuwa kuna wajibu mkubwa wa kuhakikisha kuwa wanalelewa vema tena katika misingi ya neno la Mungu.

    Kitu cha muhimu sana katika hili ni kutulia mbele za Mungu, Mungu anakujua wewe na anajua ni mtu wa namna gani unaweza kuishi naye. Ninaposema kutulia nina maana unapaswa kukaa na kumuomba Mungu na kisha kutafuta njia zake. Mungu analojibu la kila kitu ambacho mtu wake anakihitaji.

    Jambo la muhimu zaidi ni kumshirikisha Roho Mtakatifu na kumsikiliza sana Roho wa Mungu. Ukiangalia Yohana 14:14-18, ikisomwa pamoja na Yohana 16:13 (hasa sehemu ya mwisho ya msitari huu) utaona jinsi ilivyo muhimu kumshirikisha Roho Mtakatifu katika mambo yetu ili atuongoze. Kuishi maisha ya wokovu bila kumtegemea Roho Mtakatifu ni sawa na kuishi kama yatima.

    Tatizo kubwa katika kizazi cha leo ni kumsikiliza Roho Mtakatifu, wengi wetu tunampokea Roho Mtakatifu lakini hatumpi nafasi ya kutuongoza ili atutie kwenye kweli yote na wala hatumpi nafasi ya kutujulisha hata mambo yajayo na hivyo kukosa faida za kuwa na Roho Mtakatifu. Nawashauri wahusika wote wamuombe Mungu ili waweze kujua nafasi ya Roho Mtakatifu katika maisha yao, ili baada ya kujazwa Roho wasiendelee kuishi bila kujali kuwa wanahusika kwa Roho Mtakatifu.

    Pamoja na maoni mazuri yaliyotolewa na Ngaluma, nimeona niseme kidogo kuhusu kusoma vitabu, vema mtu anaposoma kitabu awe makini na achambue sana maandiko ili kuona usahihi wa kile kilichoandikwa kwenye vitabu. Vitabu vingi sana vina mafundisho mazuri yanayoweza kumsadia kiroho msomaji, hata hivyo, kuna vitabu vichache ambavyo vinakuwa na walakini. Vitabu vingine vimejaa uzoefu na mitizamo ya waandishi ambayo mingine si mapenzi ya Mungu.

    Aidha, tukumbuke kuwa Mungu hushughulika na kila mtu kama apendavyo, hivyo njia aliyoitumia katika kunipatia mwenzi wa maisha mimi, siyo atakayoitumia kwa mwingine.

    Mwisho, kuhusiana na kitabu cha Tendo la Ndoa, nashauri kuwa kisomwe na wale ambao wako katika hatua za mwisho mwisho za kufunga ndoa na si vizuri kikasomwa na wale ambao ndiyo kwanza wameanza uchumba au wale ambao hawana hata wachumba, nawaomba msome Wimbo Ulio Bora 2:7.

    Mungu awabariki.

  11. Hi Dynes! Hope this will help to some extent though it doesnt tell you how but it highlights some NB aspects.
    Question: “What does the Bible say about dating / courting?”

    Answer: Although the words “courtship” and “dating” are not found in the Bible, we are given some principles that Christians are to go by during the time before marriage. The first thing to realize is that we must separate from the world’s view because God’s way contradicts the world’s (2 Peter 2:20).

    We should discover what kind of person we are getting into a relationship with before making that commitment. We should find out if the person has been born again in the Spirit of Christ (John 3:3-8), and if they share the same desire to be as Christ was (Philippians 2:5).
    Why is this important in finding a partner? A Christian person should be careful not to marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14-15) because this could weaken your relationship with Christ, or compromise your morals and standards.

    When one is in a committed relationship with someone, it is important to remember to love the Lord above anyone else (Matthew 10:37). To say or believe that the other person is your “everything” or the most important thing in your life is idolatry, which is a sin (Galatians 5:20, Colossians 3:5).

    Also, do not defile your body by having pre-marital sex (1 Corinthians 6:9, 13, 2 Timothy 2:22). Sexual immorality is a sin not only against God but against your own body (1 Corinthians 6:18). It is important to love and honor others as you love yourself (Romans 12:9-10), and this is certainly true for a courtship or marriage relationship as well.

    Marriage is one of the most important decisions you will ever make because when two people marry, they cleave to one another and become one flesh, which should be permanent, inseparable (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5).

  12. Hi Dynes!
    Here is something else you can have a look at and take what you feel is appropriate for you. Though from my point of view this applies to the guys more, coz i dont see how a girl can approach a man especially in the Christian world when i say Christian i mean born again christians… I think as a young lady one just has to avail herself in prayer. I’ll put up something which the girls can look at when they are waiting for a husband. Guys(men) please look at the below information.

    Question: “Are we supposed to be actively looking for a spouse, or waiting for God to bring a spouse to us?”

    Answer: The answer to both questions is “yes.” As born again christians, once we have decided that “it’s time” to start looking for a spouse, we should begin the process with prayer. Committing ourselves to God’s will for our lives is the first step. So many Scriptures tell us that this is the most important thing.

    “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). Delighting in the Lord means we find pleasure in knowing Him and doing His will and trust that He will delight us in return when we obey Him. He will put His desires into our hearts, and in this situation, that means desiring for ourselves the type of spouse He desires for us and who He knows will delight us further.

    Proverbs 3:6 tells us, “In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Acknowledging Him in the search for a spouse means submitting to His sovereign will and telling Him that whatever He decides is best is what we want.

    After committing ourselves to God’s will, we need to be clear on the characteristics of a godly husband or wife and be seeking someone who qualifies on a spiritual level.
    It’s important to have a clear understanding of these qualities first and then to seek someone who fits them. To “fall in love” with someone and then discover he/she is not spiritually qualified to be our mate is to invite heartache and put ourselves in a very difficult position.

    At this point, we can begin actively looking for a spouse, all the while understanding that God will bring him/her into our lives as we are in the process of looking, according to His perfect will and timing.

    If we pray, God will lead us to the person He has for us. If we wait for His timing, we will be given the person who fits best with our background, personality, and desires. We have to trust in Him and His timing (Proverbs 3:5), even when His timing is not our timing. God’s timing is perfect, and with faith and patience, we will receive His promises (Hebrews 6:12).

  13. Hi Dynes!
    This is what i promised to put up for the wonderful ladies to look at when considering a to say “yes” to a man who wants to ‘leave and cleave’ with her in Holy matrimony!

    Question: “What should I be “looking” for in a husband?”

    Answer: When a born again christian woman is “looking” for a husband, the primary quality she should be seeking is a man “after God’s own heart” (Acts 13:22).
    The most important relationship that any of us have is our personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. That relationship comes before every other relationship.
    If our vertical relationship with the Lord is on a day-by-day grace basis, then our horizontal relationships will reflect that reality.
    Therefore, a potential husband should be a man who has his focus upon walking in obedience to God’s Word and who seeks to live so that his life brings glory to God (1 Corinthians 10:31).

    What are some other qualities to “look” for? The apostle Paul gives us a great source for the qualities we should look for in a husband in 1 Timothy chapter 3. In this passage are the qualifications for an elder / pastor / overseer / deacon in the church body. However, these qualities should grace the lives of any man who walks “after God’s heart.” The qualities can be paraphrased as follows: This man should be patient and controlled in his demeanor, not filled with pride but of sober mental attitude, able to master his emotions, given to graciousness to others, able to patiently teach, not given to drunkenness or uncontrolled use of any of God’s gifts, not prone to violence, not overly focused upon the details of life but focused upon God, not a man who is apt to be a hot-head or be thin-skinned so that he takes offense easily, and one who is grateful for what God has given, rather than envious of what gifts others have received.

    In other words, what we have here is the description of a man who is actively engaged in the process of becoming a mature believer. That is the type of man a woman should look for as a potential husband.
    Yes, physical attraction, similar interests, complementary strengths and weaknesses, desire for children, etc., are things to consider. These things, though, must take a secondary role to the spiritual qualities a woman should look for in a man. A man whom you can trust, respect, and follow in the path of godliness is of far greater value than a man of good looks, fame, power, or money.

    Finally, when “looking” for a husband, we must be of the mindset that is surrendered to God’s will in our lives. As we rest in God’s provision for us, He will bring into our lives opportunities and tests. Not all things that seem like opportunities are good, and not all tests are bad. It is the choices to rest in God’s grace in whatever situation that is at issue.
    Every woman wants to find her “prince charming,” but the reality is that she will probably marry a man with as many flaws as she has. Then, by God’s grace, they will spend the rest of their lives together learning how to be a partner to, and servant of, each other. We must enter into the second most important relationship of our lives (marriage), not under an emotional cloud, but with eyes open. Our most important relationship, with our Lord and Savior, has to be the focus of our lives.

    Remain blessed!

  14. Praise the Lord,
    Kuna kitabu kimoja kizuri sana kwa vijana, walio katika uchumba na ndoa,cha kikristo hakiuzwi, ambacho mtu unaweza kuagiza katika mtandao, http://www.ucg.org, kinaitwa ‘Marriage and Family,missing dimension’.
    Mtanzania,
    tmajaliwa@yahoo.com

  15. Wapendwa,

    Napenda kuchangia hoja hii, lakini ningependa kuomba “udhuru” ili nichangie kwa lugha ya Kimombo.. Kama kuna mtu anaweza kutafsiri kwa Kiswahili fasaha ili wote wabarikiwe, nitashukuru.

    I’m a married Tanzanian Christian man. So I understand the struggle and the questions that Christian singles have. Though I am not a marriage counselor or an expert, I will advise from my personal experience. I just pray that in all God will be glorified.

    One of the biggest mistakes that Christian singles make is to extremely spiritualize things that shouldn’t. That could be due to doctrinal understandings that we obtain from our local pastors and other spiritual mentors. I even saw that in the previous comments. This is the fact – the desire to have a wife/husband is a natural desire that God created in you.

    Other things that God created in you could appear as merely “physical” and not “spiritual”, but they are perfect gifts from God. Those are our emotional, physical, intellectual, and social areas of our lives. The problem is that when we get saved, the emphasis becomes so much on the “spiritual”, to the extent that we ignore other gifts that God has given us.

    The problem with overly spiritualizing everything is that when it comes to marriage, we expect a man or woman to appear miraculously. I know that our God is a miracle working God and that He can definitely do that. But let be wise Christians.

    A Christian life should be a balanced one, with God at the center of it. Think of this: why would the Bible emphasize education, which in human ways has little to do with repentance of sins? It is because God wants us to have a powerful, balanced life. The difference between a Christian and a non-believer is that as Christians we know and glorify the source of everything we have.

    The truth is that Christian marriages experience all things that non-Christian marriages encounter, except that in true Christian marriages, Christ rules. From a practical standpoint, it means a Christian marriage also needs romance, love, communication, understanding, patience, friendship, physical attraction, sense of humor, etc. Those marriage qualities must be identified as part of the “search” process.

    My point is this, the process of looking for a husband/wife is just the same for believers and non-believers, except the attitude that Christians carry is that of honoring God all the way through. So this is my advice:

    1. Socialize/Be approachable – You can’t meet a wife/husband if you are anti-social. I know you don’t go to Disco halls, but socialize in your Christian circles to keep your faith and integrity intact. Social aspect of your life is a God given gift. Most relationships start with a conversation. You can’t just be all quite and expect something to happen. Why don’t you try asking a “seemingly” single brother or sister at church, for a start, where they bought their shoes if you didn’t know?

    2. Sense of humor – Would you like to be married to a person who is all “prayers and no laugh”? My wife and I are Spirit-filled, but we still crack jokes like no other. Even that is a gift from God. If you have a sense of humor, please be yourself, but in a God honoring way. Know when to fast and pray and when to just “monkey around”. Nothing connects people than a good laugh.

    3. Physical attraction is part of it – During our counseling before marriage, my pastor asked me why I wanted to marry Julie and not any other girl. Well, I tried to list all the “inner and spiritual” qualities avoiding Julie’s physical beauty. My pastor kindly reminded me that her physical beauty is part of the package that attracted me. My point is this, if you are physically attracted to someone, don’t deny it, but handle the attraction in a way that honors God.

    Read Genesis 29:16-18 to see how Jacob was attracted to Rachel, though he handled this attraction in an honorable way. Also read Genesis 12:11 and see how Abraham acknowledged Sarah’s as a beautiful woman.

    The bottom line is this – physical attraction is also a door through which God can use to bring us to our potential husband or wife. So don’t think it is “sinful” to be attracted to that young man or woman. The attraction becomes sinful when we act on it dishonorably.

    4. Be well groomed – In continuation of the above point, please be well groomed. You don’t have to wear expensive clothes, but neatness is attractive. We both tend to “size up” potential mates and lack of cleanliness and tidiness could drive someone away.

    5. Let your need be known – If you are looking for a husband/wife, let fellow Christians know. For one, fellow believers will stand in the gap for you in prayers, but more importantly, they can create a social connection between you and a potential net. There is always this honorable lady at church who would let you know of a potential “mate”.

    I tell you from my personal experience. A Christian friend of mine knew I was looking for a wife. When a lady became available, the friend encouraged me to pursue. I started talking with Julie in an honorable way and she is my wife today. So apart from bringing your desire for a husband or wife before God, let trustworthy and caring people in your Christian community also know of your desire.

    6. Go on a date – Once you have identified and connected with a potential mate, go on a date. I know there is a “testimony” issue, but going out on a “safe” date will give an opportunity to know the other person. As Christians, choose an outing that will not compromise your faith or your testimony. You can’t marry a young man/woman you don’t know. Talking and dating is the best way to know.

    7. Pray – How could you not pray or continue praying?

  16. Shalom brothers and sisters,
    This is a very good topic that has been brought up. Not much is being taught in this subject and John Paul has well explained the reasons. I will share my views later. Let us keep on sharing because knowledge is power.

  17. Shaloom,

    kweli hili jambo ni gumu, mimi nilikuwa na mchumba tumekaa muda mrefu,nimemaliza shule nimeanza kazi nikapeleka kwao posa, nataka kupeleka mahari mchumba kakataa. kasema hajisikii baadaye ikagundulika amempata mtu mwingine japo…… kwa sasa nina miaka 32

    nimeamua kuwa mwenyewe kwani yule dada niliamini kabisa kwamba ametoka kwa Mungu, na nimeamini kwamba mambo haya hayaeleweki.

    Pamoja na kukaa kwangu kanisani nadhani bado sijafahamu mke atokaye kwa Bwana anakuwaje

    Ramsi

  18. Wapendwa wana-SG, kwa leo nitasema machache tu kuhusu mada hii nyeti inayosumbua watu wengi. Japo ni ya muda mrefu, lakini nadhani bado haijapita muda wake (ku-expire)! Nimesoma michango mizuri tu kama ile ya Angie na Metty.

    Yangu kwa leo ni haya machache ambayo niliyazingatia wakati nilipokuwa kwenye mchakato wa kutafuta mwenzi (Mungu akinijalia nitakushirikisha mengine siku nyingine):

    1. Hakuna formula ya kufuata ili kumpata mwenzi akufaaye. Ushuhuda wangu nilivyompata mke wangu, Joyce, nimependaye hauwezi kufanana na ushuhuda wa mwingine, n.k. Hili ni jambo muhimu la kukumbuka na kuzingatiwa na wote wanaotafuta wenzi. Hata ukisoma kitabu na kusikiliza shuhuda mbalimbali, uzichukulie hivyo – kwamba ni shuhuda za kukuonyesha kuwa Mungu hujibu maombi ya watu wake katika mahitaji yao mbali mbali, likiwemo la kupata mwenzi wa maisha.

    2. Ishi maisha ya kumcha Mungu. Kabla ya kuwaza kumlilia Mungu akupe mke au mume akufaaye, angalia kama unaishi maisha yenye hofu ya Mungu. Kumbuka Mungu hasikilizi sala ya mwenye dhambi (labda kama ni sala ya toba)!

    3. Kabla hujawaza kupata mume au mke akufaaye, anza wewe mwenyewe kujifunza jinsi ya kuwa mwenzi mwema, kisha uanze kuji-shape ipasavyo. Hapa ninamaanisha, kama wewe ni mwanamme, anza kujifunza na kubadilisha mwenendo wako ili uwe mume mwema, ili umfae huyo mke mwema unayemwomba Mungu akupatie. Vivyo hivyo kwa mwanamke, anza kujiandaa kuwa mke mwema kwa mume mwema unayemwomba Mungu akupatie.

    4. Katika njia zako zote jifunze kuongozwa na Roho wa Mungu, si kwa swala la kupata mwenzi tu. Hiyo itakurahisishia kuelewa pale Mungu atakapokuongoza kwa mwenzi atakayekufaa.

    5. Mungu amekupa akili (common sense). Usiiweke pembeni kwa kisingizio cha kuwa wa kiroho sana. Kuna mambo ambayo itakubidi uitumie katika kufanya tathmini ya wale unaokutana nao na kujiuliza ‘sijui ndio huyu’, huku ukiendelea kumwomba Mungu akuongoze. Kwa mfano, kuna mambo ambayo yanaweza kuwa dhahiri kabisa kwa yule uliyekuwa ukimfikiria awe mwenzi wako, ambayo hayafai kama Mkristo. Ukiyaona hayo usipuuzie akili zako ambazo Mungu amekupa uzitumie, na kujidanganya kuwa ‘ah, nitaoana naye tu, Mungu atambadilisha mbele ya safari’!

    6. Uwe ni mtu ambaye uko tayari kuwashirikisha watu wachache wenye busara na uzoefu katika maswala haya wakushauri pale itakapobidi. Na wakikuambia fulani hakufai, usipuuze, tafakari, pima na fanyia kazi maoni yako kabla ya kufanya maamuzi. Katika hili usiwapuuze wazazi na ndugu pia. Yamepata kutokea matukio ambapo mpendwa amekataa kusikiliza maoni ya wazazi, akajiingiza katika ndoa yenye majuto.

    7. Unapotafuta mwenzi wa maisha daima kumbuka kuwa, kama ambavyo wewe si mkamilifu (una madhaifu yako kama mwanadamu), usitarajie kupata mwenzi ambaye hana mapungufu yake, Cha msingi ni kuvumiliana, kuchukuliana, na kujua jinsi ya kushughulikia mapungufu hayo kama Wakristo.

    Naishia hapo kwa sasa. Nimeandika kwa haraka, ndio maana sijanukuu vifungu vya Maandiko. Nikijaliwa kuandaa somo kuhusu mada hii nitaviingiza vifungu mbali mbali na kwenda kwa undani zaidi. Mungu awabariki.

  19. Wapendwa mbarikiwe kwa muda wenu mliotoa hapa pamoja na maoni mazuri sana. Mimi ni mwanamke kijana nimeolewa few years ago. Ningependa kuwaambia wakaka na wadada wanaotafuta wenzi wasiwe tooo spritual watumie pia common sense kama mchangiaji mmoja hapo juu alivyosema. What do i mean? Kuna watu wanataka mpaka wafunuliwe sijui waone maono, ndoto, wasikie sauti nk wakati hawajaanza ata kutumia common sense ktk kutafuta matokeo yake wanaishia kudanganyika kupata maono ya uongo. wakati wa kuishi hayo maisha ya ndoa utajikuta huishi only spiritually! utajikuta unaishi na mwenzako maisha ya kawaida ya kutumia common sense kama kawaida ya wengine wanavyoishi hapa duniani. So, singles dont be tooo spiritual in this issue but just allow God to guide you in your choices to know your compatibilty and the like.

    Blessings!

  20. I was very much impressed with ur contributions guys, especially that of Metty,is true that we need to be spritually but at the same time to use power of mind.All these should be used together to get a right person.Be blessed

  21. Aisee.Mungu tusaidie sisi vijana,maana nimegundua vijana wengi hawana ufahamu juu ya jambo hili nyeti,na ambalo ni maamuzi yanayoweza kubadilisha mfumo mzima wamaisha ya kijana kuwa mzuri na wa faida ktk maisha yake au kuyateketeza kabisa.Binafsi ninamshukuru Mungu sana kwa kupata mafundisho sahihi ya kunisaida kumpata mwenzi mwema kutoka kwa Mungu. Kati ya mambo yalionisaida kupata ufahamu juu hili ni
    1.Mke/mume mwema lazima awe ameokoka kama wewe,maana biblia inasema[msifungiwe nira na wasioamini isivyo sawasawa]
    2.Mke/Mume si lazima atokee kanisa unalosali,kama watumishi wengi wanavyofundish,hii si kweli.Mungu anaweza kukuchagulia mwenzi kutkea popote
    3.Unapoomba Mungu akupe mwenzi usisime Mungu nipe mchumba bali omba Mungu akupe Mume/mke.Maana tunaona kwa Yusufu ingawa alikuwa hajamwoa Mariam lakini biblia ilimwita mke wake.[mchumba unaweza kumwacha lakini mume/mke huruhusiwi kumwacha]
    4.Biblia inasema mwanamke ameumbwa kwa ajili ya mwanaume,maana yake shepu mbalimbali wlizo nazo wanawake ni kwa ajili ya wanaume,kwa hiyo pamoja na ya kiroho unaruhusiwa kuomba mambo ya mwilini,kwa kuwa ndoa haitunzwi kiroho peke yake.Na ndo maana kuna wanopendela wanene,wembaba,wafupi,warefu.Wote hawa wameumbwa na Mungu kwa ajili hiyo.
    5.Mbali na kuomba lakini unahitaji kuwa na utulivu ,usikivu wa rohoni ili Mungu akiusemesha uweze kusikia,na kitachikusaidia juu hili na Mungu akujibu haraka usiombe kwa tamaa,maana biblia inasema tukiomba hatupewi kwa kuwa tunaomba kwa tamaa.
    6.Kabla ya kuingia kwenye maombi kuomba Mungu akupe mwenzi tafakari ni mwenzi wa namna gani unatka Mungu akupe,USIKURUPUKE,ili usije ukajikuta kilia siku unabadilisha maombi,ni vizuri utafakari kwanza kabla.

    Nina ushuhuda wa ajabu wa maisha yangu mimi mwenyewe jinsi Mungu alivyonijibu kwa kumpata mke niliyenae.Labda siku nyingine nitautoa.Lakini pia Mungu amenipa huduma ya kushauri vijana ktk nyanja mbalimbali na nimemwona Mungu ktk hili

  22. Hellow shalom,

    This is a wonderful subject, especiallt in this transition period towards marriage life. Don know if it is still worthy continuing contributing for this topic. Forgive me for that, since i have recently discovered this blog and i am hearten to put my few comments.

    Brother Metty,it’s like you talked with my pastor about this ,so amazing that my pastor tought me exactly the same things yesterday evening.

    Some times we pass through difficult experience that causing us to undesirelly ignore some physically important values by living over spiritual life forgetting that we are still living on flesh , forexample

    - Several heart breaks that planted wrong seeds of scary and overprotection even after being saved, we have to get out of that situation that caused many to give up on what we desire and saying God will choose for us.
    God want to know what we want, then he can advise and lead us to what is the best for us.

    I believe that Lord has not saved us so as we can suffer or live unhappy,

    - Fear of sin; sometimes we Confuse or Over exaggerate what sins are,we feel that it is sin to talk to God about what we like while he know us even before we talk.
    Thanx very much people of God for such revelation,we have learned alot and keep our self in better position before God and real life (people).

    STAY BLESSED.

  23. Shalom wana wa Mungu! Nashukuru kwa comments zilizotolewa hapo juu, lakini kila mtu ana neema yake ya pekee jinsi gani ya kumpata mwenzi,ingawa moungozo mkuu ni maombi.

  24. halow nashkuru sana kwa maoni ya ndugu Joel the points you explain its very good God bless you nimejifunza k2 kikubwa sana

  25. Maoni yangu ambayo naweza kuelezea kuhusu kupata mwenzi mwema jinsi nilivyopata nitofauti na jinsi utakavyopata lakini pointi ya kwanza kabisa {1}muombe mungu ili akupe mtu wa sawa usije ukaja kuishi kwenye ndoa km mtu anayeishi kwenye jehanamu
    [2]usikimbilie kuoa maana umeona marafiki zako wote wameoa maana ndoa ni yako mwenyewe sio ya rafiki zako
    [3] subiri muda wa mungu ufike
    [4]kabla ya kuoa inabidi uyajue makusudi ya ndoa namakusudi makuu ya ndoa yapo manne
    [1]kufurahishana [2]kuondoa upweke [3]kupata watoto
    ila watu wameweka lile la tatu kuwa la kwanza ndo maana wengi wanapooana na kukosa mtoto kwa mwaka mmoja au miwili hiyo ndoa inataka kuvunjika maana alikuwa hajui makusudi ya ndoa..JAMANI MBARIKIWE NA MUNGU MNAPOSOMA HUU UJUMBE

  26. shaloom wapendwa nimebarikiwa sana na mada nimepata jambo jipya na lafaida kwangu Mungu awabariki nawapenda

  27. Bwana Yesu asifiwe wapendwa naomba kuuliza Bibilia inasema MKE MWEMA ANATOKA KWA BWANA SAWA NA YULE WA METHALI 30:10 JE UTAMJUAJE? TUCHAGUE ALAFU MUNGU ATOE MAAMUZI AU INAKUAJE WAPENDWA? NIMESHINDWA KUJUA HAYA MAMBO.MUNGU AWAPE HEKIMA ZA KUTOSHA KUNIELEWESHA KTK HILO .ASANTENI NAWAPENDA MUNGU WANGU AWABARIKI SANA

  28. Wapenda mbarikiwe nimejifunza mengi ila kuna jambo nipo curious kujua, Mimi ni kijana nlieokoka na tayari nipo kwenye umri wa kuoa lakini sio mzuri wa kusocalize ni udhaifu nliojifunza nilipata kutokana na malezi na nnapambana nao, hivyo inaniwia vigumu kuweza kumjua mke mwema ambapo najua kama sio kumuogopa mungu ningefanya kilimwengu kujenga urafiki wa haraka na kwa asili ukichalala na mwanamke uoga unaisha na pschatrst mmoja URS liniambia mwanamke anaweza kuwa tiba yangu sasa je niishi inavyowezekana au ningoje mpaka lini?Aa

  29. Wow! The discussion is very sweet. Mbarikiwe na Bwana Yesu nyote mliotoa maoni yenu kwa vijana waliookoka. 2zidi kuelimishana na kutiana moyo ktk suala hili nyeti. God bless u all.

  30. Wapendwa,

    Uhusiano wa Mwanamke na Mwanaume uuliumbwa na Mungu! au kwa lugha nyingine mvuto wa mwanaume kwa mwanamke au mwanamke kwa mwanaume uliumbwa na Mungu, na wala sio shetani! Shetani ni mvurugaji wa kila kitu alichookita Mungu kuwa ni chema!

    Hivyo basi wigo wa kumtafuta mwenzi katika maisha LAZIMA ufungwe katika WIGO WA NENO LA MUNGU! Mungu anatakiwa atawale mivuto au hisia zetu katika jambo hilo, kuanzia mwanzo wake yaani urafiki, uchumba na hadi mwisho wake yaani ndoa lazima Bwana awe katikati yake!

    Kama wengine walivyosema katika michango hapo juu, wapendwa wengi wameenda kwenye extreme end ya ku- “spiritualize”jambo hili na wengine wameenda kwenye extreme end pia na kuiga tabia za watu wasiomjua Mungu.

    Kwa kifupi hakuna formula maalumu ya kumpata mwenzi, lakini tukiwa watu wa Mungu tunaanza jambo hilo kama tunavyooanza mambo mengine yoyote yale, yaani kumshirikisha Mungu kwa njia ya maombi! uwe una mtu moyoni mwako au la, lazima ukabidhidi hitaji lako kwa Mungu, na hapo siwezi kusema Bwana atajibuje, lakini kwa ujasiri kabisa ni kuwa Bwana anajibu maombi! Hii ni ahadi ya kweli kabisa aliyotuachia.

    Lakini kama wengine walivyosema, hasa kwa vijana, ni kuwa HAI katika mambo ya Mungu au yanayowahusu watu wa Mungu, nje na ndani ya kanisa lako! Ibada, mikutano, makongomano, misiba, arusi za wapendwa nk! Tengeneza marafiki wa Kikristo! na kwa hasa wasichana, pendeza kwa nguo za Heshima! na hata pia vijana! Be creative! Niliwahi kutembelea mahali fulani ambapo binti alipoambia ajitambulishe, alisema mimi naitwa Mary, nampenda Yesu, na sina mchumba! Watu walicheka, wengine walimwona kama mjinga, lakini ujumbe ulifika!ile courage yake iliwavuta wengi!Na pale pale watu walianza kumuuliza anasali kanisa lipi! nk! sisemi hii ni formula! lakini kadri utakavyoona vyema!

    Kila mtu atakuwa na shuhuda zake katika jambo hili! kabda siku moja wapendwa wa “STRICTLY GOSPEL” Wafungue kurasa za ku share jinsi tulivyookoka na hata kupata wachumba, tunaweza kuwasaidia wengi.MBARIKIWE

  31. yeah it amazing topic, na mimi hili swala linanitatiza sana natamani ningeongea na Mungu ana kwa ana kuhusu kupata mke au mme mwema kwa usahihi. lakini naona ni vizuri kutafuta huku ukimtanguliza Mungu akuoneshe mahali sahihi.P’se God must be the first in everything you do

  32. Ki ukweli suala la uchumba na ndoa linahitaji Mungu aingilie kati kwani mabinti wengi tumekuwa tukiumizwa sana! Mungu atuwezeshe kuvuka hatua hii ngumu ya majaribu!

  33. Mke mwema au mume mwema hapatikani kwa maombi. Hupatikana kwa malezi mema toka utotoni. Mke au mume mwema hapatikani ukubwani.

    Wazazi wanavyowalea watoto wao wa kike na kiume ndivyo wanavyotengeneza mke mwema au mume mwema.

    Usitarajie kupata mke mwema au mume mwema kutoka familia ambazo hazina malezi mema na maadili mazuri ya Kikristo. Hata kama mtu ataokoka ukubwani yaani baada ya kupita miaka 18 akiwa katika familia isiyo mjali Mungu na akawa anaishi maisha ya kujivuruga kama wazazi wake walivyokuwa wakifanya uwezekano wa kuwa mke au mume bora utakuwa mdogo sana.

    Nawaasa vijana na wazazi wanaoendelea kuzaa watoto, wahakikishe wanaleta mabinti na Wana watakaokuja kuwa wake wema au waume wema.

    Mleee mwanao katika Njia impasayo Maadili na Utii na Unyenyekevu na kumpenda Mungu naye hataiacha hadi uzeeni au kifoni.

    Nawaasa vijana ambao hajaingia katika ndoa wahakikishe wanajilinda wasijichafue kingono wawape katika umri wa barehe zao na kudhani watakapotaka kuingia kwenye ndoa watapata mume au mke mwema wakati wao wenyewe hawakujitunza nafsi zao.

    Huwezi kupata mke bikra au mume bikra wakati wewe mwenyewe ulishaharibu kila kitu. Huwezi kupata mke mwema wakati wewe mwenyewe siyo mume mwema. Jiangalie mwenyewe. Jichunguze kwanza uone kama wewe mwenyewe ni mwema ndipo uombe Mungu akupe mume au mke mwema.

    TULIA KWA BWANA. USIFANYE NGONO KABISA HADI SIKU YA NDOA. USIJARIBU WALA USIDANGANYWE NA VIJANA WENZAKE. TULIA. VUMILIA. SALI SANA. HUBIRI SANA. SOMA SANA. PENDA NENO LA MUNGU SANA. FUNGA NA KUOMBA. JIHUSISHE KATIKA VIKUNDI VYA INJILI. USIJARIBU NGONO KAMA HUJAOA AU KUOLEWA. UKIFANYA HIVYO UTAPATA MUME MWEMA AU MKE MWEMA. AIDHA, UKISHAINGIA KATIKA NDOA TULIA NA WAKO MILELE.

    Obed Venerando Milinga

  34. Ahsanteni kwa michango yenu mizuri,

    Kuna Jamaa moja naye aliifanya hii process ya kutafuta mke too simple, akaniambia hivi:

    Ikiwa umemwomba Mungu akupe mke mwema na umelishika neno lake sawasawa, unaweza kumwona binti ukampenda halafu ukamuoa na Mungu akamfanya kuwa mke mwema.

    Akasema yeye huwa anasimamia huu usemi:

    “I understand that God has not given me ability to always make right decision, but He has given me ability to make decision and then make it right”

    Kuna mafundisho ya aina nyingi sana juu ya namna ya kumpata mwenza. Kwa hiyo akili za kuazima/kupewa changanya na zako huku ukizingatia neno la Mungu.

  35. Kwani hakuna watu wa Mungu wa kutusaidia sisi vijana namna nzuri ya kumpata mwenzi kuliko kubahatisha kama wengi wafanyavyo sasa? Mlio kaika ndoa tayari kwani ninyi mlifanyaje? Tusaidieni tafadhali. Matapeli ni wengi, hivyo tunahitaji elimu yenu mliyotangulia katika tasinia hii ya pingu za maisha.

  36. Mimi ni kijana wa kiume mwenye miaka 29, naomba mwenye kuongozwa na Roho na aniandikie nija njema za kumpata mwenzi maana naogopa kuvamia mtu asiyemcha Mungu. Mimi mwenyewe namcha Bwana na nampenda wala sitaki kukosea katika suala hili.
    Tafadhali niandikie kupitia lkapilya@gmail.com

  37. MDOGO WANGU KAPLYA, Mke mwema mtu hupewa na BWANA, lakini BWANA hamchagulii mtu mke, unaweza kushangaa, lakini ukweli ndio huo! Chagua mwenyewe MKE na BWANA ataona kama ni mwema ili akupe. Mungu hataki kuitwa Muongo, maana yeye si Muongo! MKE MWEMA NI NANI ATAKAYE MJUA?…..Watu wengi huchagua wenza wao,ambao wanadhani kuwa wamepewa na BWANA! Elewa kuwa, kuchagua ni kazi yako bali mwenye kukupa ni BWANA.Tatizo watu hujipa kazi zote mbili wao wenyewe,yaani wanachagua na kujikabidhisha – unajua kuchagua ni kama KUPENDEKEZA, na ukishapendekeza, utaona kuwa kikawaida mwenye kupitia na kuweza kupitisha pendekezo lako ni mtu ama watu wengine,Mtu au Watu wapaswao kupitisha pendezezo ni lazima wawe wenye maamzi na uwezo wa kuamua mkuu kuliko wewe. Mpitishaji wa pendekezo anauwezo huo ama kwa kupewa na chombo fulani au ni wake mwenyewe! Sasa uwezo wa kupitisha (kukupa) pendekezo lako (mchumba) Anao MUNGU MWENYEWE! Si lazima kila pendekezo linasifa ya kukubaliwa na mpitishaji,maana kuna kupendekeza kwa upendeleo au ukapendekeza kwa kuwa umepewa rushwa nk.Usifanye maamzi wakati unafuraha sana au unahudhuni sana! Ili upate mwenza utakayepelekea BWANA akupe ni mhimu kujua yafuatayo: Kwanza,JITAMBUE – Kwamba wewe kwa nini unataka kuoa, kwamba,wewe unatabia gani.unapenda na haupendi nini, kamba, unapenda mwenza wa namna gani,nk. Lakini swali kuu ni kwamba, UKIPATA HUYO MWENZA UTMFANYIA NINI – UNAWAJIBU GANI KWAKE, KAMWE USIFIKILIE ATAKACHOTAKIWA MWENZA AJAYE KUKUFANYIA ! Pengine utajiuliza kwa nini? Kwakweli hapo ndipo penye makosa makubwa- ukifanya hivyo utakuwa umeingilia kazi ya “MPITISHAJI” kumbuka tu kwamba wewe unatakiwa kupata MKE MWEMA basi! Fikilia iwapo ulitaka watoto na kumbe mwenza huyo hatazaa kabisa? au ulitaka mwenyekuitikia kila unalomwamuru, na kumbe mwenza huyo akawa mwenyekuhoji kila hatua unayoiendea? hapo utaona kamwe si MWENZA uliyetaka! Naomba nikuache utafakali hayo kwanza,kisha nitkuletea sehemu inayofuata,kama unaswali uliza. Wrgds: MABINZA LS, Dar.- TZ.

  38. Naamini hajambo kabisa ndg yangu,mimi pia sijambo.Labda tuanze maada yetu hvi, mke ni tunu na mme ni tunu vilvile.Waswahili husema ni bora ukose shabaha katika kumlenga simba porini na ukakosa pa kukimbilia,kuliko kukosea katika Ndoa! Kabla hujaviangalia viashiria vya kukuongoza kujua huyu ndiye ama huyu siye, ni lazima ujitambue wewe kwanza,uujue udhaifu na ubora wako.Mfano, je, wewe hukiri makosa yako kwa hiari na kukubari ushauri baada ya kuuchunguza au ni mlalamishi na mwenye majibu ya mkato unapo sahihishwa? Wewe ni mchangamfu au ni mwenye kujaa huzuni hasa unapoona mambo kama yana feli? je, nimwenye kujitia moyo au ni mkataji tamaa?nk.(cheki mith.8:3) Kumbuka,Ndoa haitabadili utu wako,elewa pia kwamba,kujitambua kwakweli hutokana na watu wengine wakuonavyo na wanavyo kuambia.Ndiyo maana watu husema huwezi kujitambua mwenyewe,jambo ambalo si kweli ila inatokana na uvivu wa kufikili na ubinafsi wa kiubinadamu,sababu wanadamu hutazamia sifa njema zaidi na kuacha kujua pia kuwa ubaya ni sehemu ya ubinadamu wao,Watu wengi hukataa au hukubali wanapoambiwa kuwa wanatabia furani bila kujua kama kweli wapo vile walivyo-ni kawaida ya watu walionje ya neno la Mungu kujikataa. Jua hivi, kutii neno la Mungu ndiyo kutakufanya ujitambue ki uhalisi ulivyo(CHEKI, Isa 48:17), maana huwezi kuona kibaya kama chema hakipo,tunalinganisha kizuri kwa kibaya ili kuipata tofauti inayotakiwa.KIASHIRIA ILI KUMJUA MWENZA MWEMA- Viashiria utaviona waziwazi ukichunguza vizura tabia zinazotajwa katika 2Timo 3:1-5,Jiepushe na mtu wa tabia hizo,hataweza kamwe kuwa Mwenza mwema.Kwakuwa Tabia hujurikana na kuonekana waziwazi kupitia matendo ya mtu,ni lazima utaona na kujua,ila ni jua hivi,WALIOMO NDANI YA KRISTO KIKWELI NDIO WAWEZAO KUGUNDUA HAYO,walio nje kamwe hawahusiki na mambo ya MWENZA MWEMA (Angalia picha niliyokutumia) , angalia sana,USIJE UKAPUUZA MARA UONAPO MWENZA MTARAJIWA WAKO ANA HATA MOJA TU YA TABIA ZILIZOTAJWA NA 2timo 3:1-5, ukaamua kuendelea naye,usije kabisa kumlaumu Mungu kuwa licha ya kuomba na kufunga sana tu,lakini umepewa mwenza asiye mwema,kwani kwa mjibu wa Biblia utakuwa “UMEJIPA MWENZA HUYO MWENYEWE NA KATU SI MUNGU-Kwa sababu ya tamaa zako!”Mwenza umtakaye hujitoa kwa kiwango gani katika imani ya kile unachokiamini?Kujua hilo kutamfanya Mungu akupe Mwenza Mwema,maana Mungu huchagua wenza wetu kutoka katika familia yake tu na sivinginevyo(cheki, matendo 17:26-28) Jambo la maana kwa wote wawili wanaotarajia kuoana ni lazima wawe na itikadi na kanuni zilezile na zifanane na Neno la Mungu, Neno la Mungu linasema Msifungiwe nira na wasioamini (cheki,2kor.6:14).Ingawa kumwabudu Mungu pamoja ndiyo sehemu ya maana zaidi ya muunganiko unaotarajiwa,kuna mengi zaidi yanayotakiwa kuingizwa ndani,moja ya mambo hayo ni kule kunia mamoja, katika hilo kuna kutambua na kutambuana kila mmoja kwa dalaka lake la baadaye kati ile familia ijayo. Mipango ya awali kama kuwa na Watoto na au ikitokea wasiwepo watoto,Ajira na shughuri za maendeleo kwa kifupi mambo mtakayoyatakuliza katika maisha yenu.(cheki,Math:633) katika ndoa yenye mafanikio kweli kweli, lazima mke na mme wawe Marafiki kwelikweli na wema nao hufurahia ushirika wa mmoja na mwenzake (cheki,Meth17:17)! ili wawe hivyo ni lazima wote wapendezwe na matendo yao mmoja kwa mwenzake.Utaona kama haiwezekani,au utazani kumpata mwenza basi ni vigumu,usiyatazame mambo ya kiroho ki mwili-Neno linasema, Kilajambo lawezekana kwa kila aaminiye,aaminiye nini?……aaminiye Neno la Mungu!. BILA HIVYO,ni vigumu pengine hata zaidi kudumisha ndoa.Najaribu kusema haya ili ujue tu kama kweli unataka mwenza,hapo bado sijagusia umri ufaao katika ndoa.Nikuache kwanza utafakali haya kaka Kapilya,nitakuletea tena sehemu nyingine ifuatayo kastika mfurulizo huu.BWANA YESU KRISTO, Akutunze.

  39. Asanteni wote kwa maoni yenu mazuri,japokuwa mengine yanahitaji ufafanuzi zaidi,Mfano Remmy alipotuambia kwamba kuna kitabu kimeandikwa na Padri kwa habari ya uchumba na ndoa,sidhani kama Padri anaweza kutueleza habari yakuchumbia au kuoa kwa sababu hana exprience hiyo,kwa sababu nasikiaga wao ma padri huwa hawaoi wala masista hawaolewi. Lakini pendekezo langu la pili,naomba waliooa na kuolewa watupe shuhuda ni jinsi gani waliwapataje wenzi wao (kama kwa ndoto,au ishara,au kwa kumpenda mtu tu nk na watupe matokeo ya ndoa zao zinaendeleaje tusije tusijeongea mabo kwa theory(nadharia)bali kwa matendo,kama tukipat shuhuda kadha tunaweza kujengwa zaidi na kupata uzoefu na mafunzo zaidi.

  40. Kaka kapilya,namshukuru sana MUNGU kuona Email yako na kuona kwamba ungali una hamu ya kujua zaidi juu ya MKE MWEMA. Nimefurahishwa na kitendo chako cha kufuatilia kwa makini,hasa unapotaka ufafanuzi kwa kile kisichoeleweka katika maelezo yangu, juu ya jambo hili.Ndg katika Kristo Yesu,kama tayari umekwisha vipitia vile viashilia vinavyoongoza kumpata mke mwema,ambavyo kwa kweli nitabia itakiwayo kwa mke mwema.Maana upo pia usemi kwamba “Mke ni tabia!” Ukisha vielewa vzuri viashiria hivyo ambavyo kwakweli vimetajwa na MUNGU mwenyewe wazi wazi katika 2timoth;3:1-5. Sasa tunaweza kusonga mbele,tuseme sasa umempata (Unapendekeza) kuwa huyu hapa ndiye natarajia kumtwaa awe mke wangu wa ndoa!-Hapo sasa unapaswa kusubili jibu la BWANA, (cheki,meth;18:22) Maana Neno la MUNGU husema, MAANDALIZI YA JAMBO MOYO NI KAZI YA MWANADAMU,BALI JAWABU HUTOKA KWA MUNGU! unaona? kumbe mchaguzi wa atakayekuwa mkeo ni wewe,lakini mpaji ni Mungu! Ukiwa katika kusubiri kupewa,unajiandaa kuwa, MME WA MKE MWEMA kwa Kujua siri ya kuwa na familia yenye Furaha!- Je, FAMILIA NI NINI? Kila watu wanamila na Desturi za Jamii zao.Kwa hiyo Watu wa Mungu nao wana mila na desturi zao,zinazopendekezwa na Biblia, ambayo ndiyo msingi wa maisha yote ya Mkristo wa kweli wakati wote.Hapa hebu tukubaliane kwamba,Wewe,Mkeo,Watoto wenu,Wazazi wenu wote wa pande mbili ndiyo Familia YAKO, ambayo ndiyo nitakayo izungumzia muda wote wa somo langu.Familia, inaaminiwa kuwa ndiyo muundo na shirika la zamani zaidi Duniani,na mwanzirishi wake ni MUNGU Mwenyezi katika Bustani ya Edeni (cheki,Mwa 2:18-25). Historia inakili wazi kuwa,kutokana na familia ndipo tunajikuta leo tuna TAIFA! Historia inazidi kusimulia kwamba,kutokana na Familia imara, ndiyo unapata TAIFA Imara. familia yenye furaha,hufanya mahali pake patokeze automatikali – kuwa penye ulinzi na usalama – apana ubinafsi wala ubaguzi wala udigiteta!- Hiyo ndiyo familia bora.Katika Familia yenye furaha,mtoto hujua na kuamini kwamba, Baba na Mama yake,ndiyo walinzi wake,wanaweza kila kitu na kwamba yupo salama (yaani ndiyo,SEVISI PROVAIDA).Labda waweza kusema waipenda familia kama hii,ni kweli,lakini ili kuifanya familia iwe bora kuna gharama za wali za lazima.
    Kujenga Nyumba kwa taka maandalizi makini,kabla ya msingi kuuweka. Ni sawa-uwanja unao,ramani unayo tayari,lakini Yesu alisema hivi,”Ninani kati yenu atakaye kujenga mnara asiyeketi kwanza na kupiga hesabu ya gharama,ili aone kama anakiasi cha kutosha kuukamilisha?” (cheki,Luk; 14:28) Ndoa bora si kutokana na gharama za harusi wanavyochangishana watu, Ndoa na familia yenye furaha si ile iliyofungwa kifahari au kimasikini sana! (cheki picha- attached) Kama ilivyo katika ujenzi wa nyumba,ndivyo ilivyo pia katika habari ya ujenzi wa ndoa yenye mafanikio. Wengi husema nataka kufunga ndoa, lakini ni wangapi huketi chini kuangalia magumu yanayoweza kujitokeza katika maisha ya ndoa-na kuhesabu mambo hayo,kama gharama? Biblia husema mema mengi juu ya ndoa,lakini pia huvuta uangalifu kwenye magumu ambayo ndoa hutokeza.(cheki,meth;18:22 na 1kor; 7:25-28) kwa hiyo, wale wanaofikiria kuwa na ndoa,wanahitaji kuwa na maoni halisi juu ya Baraka na pia gharama za kuwa watu walio funga ndoa.Gharama zote zinazoweza kujitokeza katika wana ndoa ni Biblia pekee huto suruhisho lililo rahisi na zuri lenye upole na lililojaa matumaini,cha msingi ukubali kuongozwa naROHO mtakatifu (cheki,waefe; 3:14,15),Ila elewa kwamba,ni jambo la kikatili sana,kuumiza watu wengine kihisia,kwa ahadi ambayo unakuja kuacha kuitimiza,USITAMKE NENO LA UCHUMBA KWA MTU AMBAYE HUJAFIKIA KATIKA UAMZI WA KUMCHUMBIA! Hebu tafakari hayo kisha nitakuletea sehemu ifuatayo,usiache kabisa kuuliza kama unaswali. BWANA YESU KRISTO,akupe Maarifa ndg yangu, Kapilya.Wrgds; Mabinza LS
    — On Wed, 1/25/12, Kapilya Lameck wrote:

  41. Namshukuru sana MUNGU kunikutanisha na TOPIC hii kwenye blog hii. Nami nimekuwa kwenye wakati mgumu kuhusu swala la kupata mwenza sahihi. Na naweza nikasema imekuwa ni changamaoto na kwazo kwenye maisha yangu. Mimi ni mdada wa miaka 33 sasa na nilibahatika kukutana na kijana mmoja na tukaweza kuanzisha mahusiano. Ni miaka 4 sasa inafika toka tufahamiane. Lakini siku zinapozidi kwenda nashindwa kujua kama bado niko kwenye mahusiano au yalishakufa. Kwani mwenzangu haoneshi nia ya wazi ya kwamba yuko nami hata baadhi ya watu anaokutana nao huwa anawaambia mm ni dada yake ila nikimuuliza anasema sio kweli hajawahi kusema hivyo. Vilevile muda wa miaka 4 ni mwingi kwa mtu kuwa kwenye mahusiano ambayo mbele hayaoneshi mwanga wa aina yoyote. Mawasiliano yamekuwa magumu kwani nisipomtafuta mm yeye huwa hawezi kupigia simu labda awe na shida. Mwenzangu hana msukumo kuhusu jambo hili na hata siku moja hajawahi kuongelea na ninapomuuliza majibu yake yamekuwa ya mkato sana kuwa bado hajaamua. Naomba mnisaidie mawazo nini cha kufanya kwani niliamini huyu ndie atakaye kuwa mume wangu kila nikifikiria labda nimwambie tuvunje haya mahusiano ili kila mtu awe huru moyo wangu ni mzito kwani nilimpenda sana. Watu wa Mungu nisaidieni kwani umri unaenda na changamoto ni nyingi ninazokutana nazo nisije nikaangukia kwenye mikono ambayo si salama. Help me!

  42. Hello Dyness Peter! Napenda sana jinsi umeweza kuongea kuhusu kijana huu aliyekuwa na muda mlefu akiwa bado hajapata mchumba. Ninachotaka kusema ni kwamba vijana wengi wameshindwa hatakuwa huyo kijana aliyekwenda katika maombi nakusubili Mungu atamleta mwenzi wake. Yeye ameweza hata kulinda mwili wake asipate matatizo rakini vijana wa sasa hata kufanya maombi usiwambiye. Kosa kijana alilofanya tu ni kwa sababu yeye alikaa tu akisibiri Mungu atamuletea mke rakini angeliweza kusimama kama Gedioni angeliweza kuona ishara ya Mwenyezi Mungu.
    Cha msingi ni kwamba, kuomba ni jambo la muhimu sana kwa kazi yote unaofanya. Rakini si mhimu kwakile usichokifanya kwa maana Neno linasema asifanya kazi na asile. Hivyo sasa hatuwa ya kwanza wakati unatafuta mchumba omba Mungu ukimwambiya jinsi mwenzi wako unahitaji afanane yaani awe. Pili kujuwa nguvu aliyonao Mwenyezi Mungu kwa kazi ile unaohitaji yeye aifanye. Tatu, Tumaini lako liwe imala kwa kupata jibu kutoka kwa Mungu. Harafu kama wewe ni binti unasubili wa kukuuliza kama unaweza kuwa wake unampa subira hauwezi kujibu mapema wakati hujamuombea kwa kuuliza Mungu kama huyo nijibu lako au la! Na kama ni kijana mume anaweza kuonabinti anayependa nakuuliza Mungu kama huyo binti inawezekana kuwa jibu la maombi yake na anaweza kuomba vigezo vyakuweza kumjuwa wake. Wakati mwingine wanaweza kujuwana kwa ndoto na kuombea ndoto tu hivyo Mungu anajidhihilisha yeye peke yake, kwa maana wengine wanaweza kuowana hata wakiwa bado hawajaonana. Binti anayetaka kujenga mji wake ni lazima awe mtulivu maishani sio mpenda vyote bali awe mnyenyekevu mbele za Mungu na watu wote harafu aheshimu sana ndoa yake kuliko vyovyote avionavyo chini ya jua. Hivyo ndivyo ilivyo kwa vjana waume.

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