There are a lot of prayer requests on marriage, I think, people should understand this simple reading before they get into marriages. This can also completely/partly help resolve marriage conflicts.
I pray that you are guided by the Holy Spirit throughout your reading.
Marriage without stress is a possibility, divorce can be avoided.
When the lord turned again the captivity of His people they became like them that dreamed, Psalms 126 vs 1.
Your trial is turned to triumph. Do not bother about how it is going to happen just believe it and the zeal of the lord shall perform it. Be blessed as you read ahead. It is my prayer that the encounter you shall have today would lift you up and you shall continually go up.
WE ARE LOOKING AT THE SUBJECT OF MARRIAGE
Everybody knows what marriage is but not everybody knows what marriage should be or intended to be by God.
Marriage is an institution. An institution ordained by God. It is an institution where everyone is a student while God is the vice chancellor. Lack of preparation will always end up in frustration. The reason many marriages is under frustration is because they lack adequate preparation. Some people think that the only preparation you need for marriage is the money preparation. It is not true. They do not see marriage as an institution so they end up in frustration. God was the one who said;
Therefore shall a man leave His mother and father and cleave to His wife; and they shall be one flesh, Genesis 2 vs.24, Matthew 19 vs.5, Mark 10 vs.7. Three different scriptures saying almost the same thing. This further hammers on the importance of marriage.
Marriage is not mans design. Without God you will wear it any how. I will show you in the course of this teaching the reason for marriage and the steps to marriage with the reason for divorce.
REASONS FOR MARRIAGE
It is a common saying that without knowing the purpose of a thing abuse is inevitable.
Everything has a reason, you would not fully understand the function of a thing until you read the manual. The manual for life is the Bible. And in it God spoke expressly about marriage.
1. The first reason for marriage is that it is the foundation for the family; and everyone belongs to a family. The first school any one will find himself is the family school at any level. The family is not possible without marriage, so God instituted marriage. No wonder He said in Matthew 19 vs. 4- 5. He made them male and female…for this cause shall a man leave … and cleave…. Multiplication and fruitfulness is not possible without marriage. So God used marriage as a seed for the harvest of a fruitful family. Every lasting change must start from the family or else it will become vain. The WORLD WILL KEEP ON TRYING UNTIL THEY REALIZE THAT EVERY LASTING CHANGE MUST START FROM THE HOME AND NOT THE GOVERNMENT. Proverbs 22 vs. 6 says train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. If every child was trained the Gods way, the way he ought to go according to Gods word, then there will be no armed robbers, assassins, terrorists, rapists, kidnappers, drug addicts, corrupt leaders. Everything bad can be avoided from the home. Every one you see today came from a home. I believe that change is coming to your nation.
2. The second reason for marriage is that it is not good for a man to be alone. Genesis 2 vs. 18; at a stage in a mans life it is dangerous to be alone, why? Because a help meet is needed. God took a rib from the first Adam and created Eve, the first woman. Woman was taken out of man. So a rib was missing in man. That place becomes empty until he gets His wife. Then they become one. So every man needs His wife. The scripture said, for this cause shall a man leave and cleave to His wife. Meaning there is an Eve for every Adam and an Adam for every Eve. There is a woman for you and there is a man for you. I will explain on this later as we proceed.
3. The third reason for marriage is that for you to truly dominate you need a wife; one shall chase a thousand and two shall put ten thousand to flight. For you to be truly influential you need a help meet.
4. The fourth reason is that two will always be better than one. Look at what Ecclesiastes 4 vs. 9 says, two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. If they fall the one will lift up the other.
As you can see SEX is not a reason for marriage. Don’t get me wrong sex is important, it is but it is not the reason. It is the fuel for marriage because it renews the oneness God destined for the husband and wife. Sex is spiritual. It is just 10% of marriage. People that get married because of sex will become bored in a short time. In marriage COMMUNICATION, COMPATIBILITY, UNDERSTANDING, LOVE AND TRUST are even more important than sex. Sex is good but don’t just have only sex, communicate and try to understand. This brings me to the next phase of this message and it is subtitled;
THE STEPS TO MARRIAGE
1. FRIENDSHIP; God has prepared a partner for you and in most cases what He does is to organize connections for you to meet that person. The first step to take is to be friends. Most people miss this stage and start asking out on a date. Leave dating out of it first, just start showing care and kindness as a friend. Listen, do not rush things, let it grow. There are so many pre-mature marriages. Friendship is for care, kindness and concern. Then it would grow to the relationship stage.
2. RELATIONSHIP; this is a little deeper than the first because commitment starts. You now start dating spending time together, getting to know each other better. Caution: What you do in your relationship is a seed and a pointer to what will bear fruit after marriage. So do not sow bad seeds, avoid sex. The seed most people sow is sex. Sex does not increase love rather it kills it. The love starts dying gradually and you might feel that it is growing. The Bible says; marriage is honorable with the bed undefiled. For your family to be honorable your bed must not be defiled during courtship.
3. COURTSHIP; this is a defined state where both parties have agreed to marry, so they have made their intentions known to their parents, it is a period of thorough planning, they learn to understand each other. Courtship is work. You must learn to understand your spouse. Because two of you are different, there is bound to be difficulty in understanding, that is why courtship is important. This is also a stage of prayers. Your focus should be your vision personally then that of your family.
No doubt the courtship stage is also a phase of serious temptation. This stage is filled with issues that might want to break it up. But you have to work it out. Do not give up there is a way out of every predicament. The courtship season is not a period of sex or trying to see if the girl can be pregnant. If you have indulged in sex already, then you can seek the mercy of God and stop immediately. Both of you must come to an agreement on the issue of sex.
You must believe that pre marital sex is wrong.
The reason for divorce.
Divorce is an abuse of the plan of God. It causes a broken home and leave an negative imprint in the hearts of the children. Divorce is a destiny destroyer. 98% of divorce happens because people don’t seek the will of God for their marital destinies. Marriage is God entrusting the destinies of men to the husband and wife as care takers. When there is a divorce that intention can be foiled.
Polygamy is also a plan of the devil to foil the plan of God.
Inquire from God, do not marry because of money, comfort, influence from parents or pity. Marry because it is the will of God. Divorce is a major predicament in the western world today because most of them practically rule out God out of the issue of marriage. How can you rule out the manufacturer from His product? God instituted marriage without Him marriage will not work.
I pray that the spirit of understanding should swim into your heart to comprehend that marriage is more of God than you. Your seed is precious, your sperm is important to God. Do not waste it on women. Wait till you find the woman for you then marry her first before you have sex so that your home will be glorious and honoured by God.
I speak mercy to your homes no matter the fault, the love of God covers all sins. You are free from every bondage in Jesus precious name. you can start a new lease of life from today. Knowledge is vital. Because you now know you will make it and shall fulfil your marital destinies. Your generation is blessed in Jesus name. I speak hope to your broken heart. I speak restoration to your life. You are going forward from now.