Akina dada kuanzisha mahusiano!

mahusiano

 “Apataye MKE apata KITU CHEMA; Naye ajipatia kibali kwa Bwana”  Je Binti akimuomba kijana waoane. Kuna ubaya wowote binti akichangamka?

–Linda

10 thoughts on “Akina dada kuanzisha mahusiano!

  1. Kuna dada mmoja alifuata kaka, akamwambia, nmekupenda. Yule kaka akakubali wakafunga ndoa. mpaka leo hii wanaendelea kuzaa watot wa kike na wa kiume… Hata mim kusema ukwel huwa cna ujacli wa kumfuata bint moja kwa moja…ha! haa! haaaa!

  2. Ndugu Isaya na wadau wote,

    Mimi ningependa tu kusema kwa akina dada kuwa siyo dhambi kumuanza mwanaume, alimradi hilo linakubalika na utamaduni wa jamii husika, hususani huyo ambaye anaanzwa!

    Kwamba italeta picha gani, hayo yote ni kulingana na tulivyozoea kufanya mambo katika jamii zetu. Njua kuna jamii zingine wanaume hawatoi mahali, na zingine mahari yakitolewa anapewa karibu nusu yote anapewa huyo binti anayeolewa.

    Isaya umeleta huu mfano wa kristo na kanisa bila shaka kwa kusisitiza kwamba mwanaume ndo anatakiwa kumuanza mwanamke kwa vile kristo alituchagua kwanza sisi, na si sisi kumchagua yeye.

    Lakini ukiangalia utagundua kinachosemwa hasa katika mfano huu ni ”Intimacy” iliyopo kati ya kanisa na kristo, wala si jinsi uhusiano wa kanisa na kristo ulivyoanza.

    Kwa sababu, kitabu cha Ufunuo 19: 7 ulichonukuu kina sura ya Kristo na mchumba wake Kanisa, yaani hawajaoana bado. Lakini kinaonesha jinsi harusi yao ilivyokaribia na vile ambavyo bi harusi amejiandaa kwa mapambp yanayotakiwa.

    Lakini Paul katika Efeso 5:22-24 amefananisha uhusiano wa kanisa na kristo kama mume na mke (hawa tayari wameoana),akiwa analenga kuelezea kitu kingine kabisa,ambacho ni nafasi ya mume na mke katika ndoa.

    Kwa hiyo mfano wa Kristo na Kanisa kwa haya maandiko mawili hauko kabisa kwenye suala la nani alianza kumtafuta mwenzake.

    Yeyote tu anaweza kuanza na taratibu zingine zikaendelea/zikafuata,
    siyo dhambi!

  3. O.k, ndiyo maana nimemalizia kwa kushauri watu wa Mungu tujitahidi zaidi kuongozwa na Neno la Mungu, kwani pamoja na tamaduni zote kuzaliwa, kukua na kufa “Neno linasimama”, lilikuwepo,lipo na litaendelea kuwepo.Tukirudi kwenye swali la msingi, tunapaswa kujua kuwa uhusiano baina na “mke na mume” au “binti na kijana” (kuelekea kwenye ndoa) ni mfano wa uhusiano wa “kristo na kanisa”. Tujiulize, kati ya kristo na kanisa, ni nani aliwajibika kumtafuta mwingine? au uhusiano wa kristo na kanisa ukoje? ( Ufunuo 19:7)

    Barikiwa

  4. Makoko nashukuru,

    Ila mimi sidhani sana kama utamadaduni wa Magharibi uko kinyume na utamaduni wa biblia kwa sehemu kubwa kuliko tamaduni za sehemu zingine. Ila wao kwa sababu katika zama hizi ndo wako juu kimafanukio ya kiuchumi, ustaarabu wao mzuri na mbaya una nafasi kubwa sana ya kuenea na kushawishi sehemu zingine za dunia.

    Mapenzi ya jinsia moja yaliyofanyika Sodoma na Gomora na nchi za jirani na nchi hizo sidhani kama yanaweza kulingana na haya ya leo kwa kukithiri.

    Tukumbuke wao ndo walituletea injili, na kutusaidia kuachana na tamaduni zetu nyingi za kishetani. Tusiwashambulie sana, ila tujue tu kwamba shetani nae hufanya kazi kimkakati, anajua aanzie wapi ili kurahisisha wazo lake kuenea kwa haraka.

    Utamaduni huzaliwa, hukua, lakini pia hufa!

    Barikiwa!

  5. Asante sana Bw.Sungura,
    Niende moja kwa moja kwenye swali lako. Hoja yetu tuliijenga zaidi kwa mktadha wa kiafrika.Na nadhani wengi wetu tutakubaliana kuwa kwa sehemu kubwa, utamaduni wa nchi za magharibi unakinzana na Biblia katika mambo mengi.Unaweza ukaona harakati zinazoendelea kuhalalisha ushoga. Kuna mengi tumeyazungumza katika kitabu chetu, lakini kila hoja tumeijenga juu ya msingi wa NENO LA MUNGU kuliko utamaduni uwao wote. Tusisahau hata nchi zetu za kiafrika zina tamaduni zinazopingana na neno la Mungu pia.

    Tafuta kitabu hicho cha MWENZI WA MAISHA (The Lifemate), bila shaka utakifurahia.

    Mungu awabariki

  6. Isaya Makoko,

    Binafsi nakushukuru kwa jinsi ambavyo mmeziweka ‘findings’ zenu kwenye hicho kitabu ulichosema, kwa kutumia lugha ya ‘ kwa mtazamo wetu’. Bila shaka mmekuwa ‘suggestive’ zaidi kwa kuwa suala hili linategemeana zaidi na utamaduni wa jamii husika. Hata jamii ambayo utamaduni wake ulitumika kuandika biblia ( Wayahudi) utamaduni wao unafanana sana na wa kiafrika katika maeneo mengi, likiwemo hili la namna ya kupata mwenzi wa maisha.

    Pengine nisaidie kujua kwamba ‘sample size’ yenu mliitoa kwenye jamii ya watu gani ya makundi ya hao vijana mliowahoji!( watanzania, wamarekani, wachina, wahindi, au kina nani?)

    Nitafuatilia hicho kitabu moja ya seheemu ulizosema.

    Asante!

  7. Hilo si swali jepesi kujibu hasa katika kizazi hiki cha utandawazi. Mambo yanabadilika sana tofauti na siku za nyuma kutokana na mwingiliano wa tamaduni. Jibu la swali hili tumeliweka kwenye kitabu chetu kipya cha “MWENZI WA MAISHA” (The Lifemate) Uk.69 na 70. Kwa kadri ya utafiti wetu katika kitabu hicho, tunaamini binti na kijana wana wajibu tofauti. Kuna mwenye wajibu wa KUTAFUTA na mwingine anao wajibu wa KUCHAGUA. Wakati vijana wa kiume wanapaswa, na wanajisikia vizuri wakiwajibika KUTAFUTA, mabinti kwa upande mwingine, wanajisikia vizuri wakifuatwa na kupewa fursa ya KUCHAGUA. Tuliwahoji vijana wengi na kufanya utafiti wa kutosha kabla ya kufikia hitimisho hili. Hivyo,kwa mtazamo wetu, ingawa si dhambi kwa mabinti kufanya hivyo, lakini tunadhani wanao wajibu wa kulinda thamani yao (Mithali 31:10) kwani kitu chenye thamani hutafutwa. Kwa ufafanuzi zaidi tafuta kitabu chetu, yako mengi ya kujifunza. Kinapatikana pale EFATHA Bookshop (DSM), Bible society (Dodoma), KiMAHAMA (Arusha na Tabora) na Tusome biblia (Mwanza).Mungu awabariki sana. Mwl.Isaya Makoko

  8. Wedding season is upon us, which means a few things: Much of my drug money will go to stays in quaint B&Bs with white tents in the backyard, I will have my annual argument with airport security about whether or not an engraved cake knife is a weapon, and several of my girlfriends will get engaged.

    Why? Because nothing makes a couple realize they want to grow old together like watching other people Hoover up all the presents and tax breaks.

    I’m kidding, of course! Some of my friends are in committed relationships and really, legitimately want to marry their boyfriends … SO BAD. Bad enough that they’ll drop hints, make threats and whip up chicken recipes from women’s magazines that border on Wiccan spells.

    But not so much that they’ll ask for it themselves.

    Which, frankly, I don’t get. Every year around this time, I read a handful of articles about women proposing, whether offhandedly or elaborately with Jumbotrons / flash mobs / “mangagement rings.” These articles are always written like they’re about a dog walking on its hind legs. Ladies … asking dudes? What’s next, marriage by robots???

    Here at Lemondrop, we recently wrote about a female valedictorian proposing to her boyfriend during her graduation speech. Despite the fact that the couple had been together for a very long time and this was clearly an accomplished woman doing the asking, some of our commenters were less than charmed.

    “I don’t care what century we’re in,” posted a user named “Lech.” “[L]et the man propose! If he wants you, he will be very eager to do so.” True, Lech is (ostensibly) a guy. But even the lesbian-separatist gila monsters commenting on Jezebel were pretty split when the site posted a poll back in ’08. While most of their readers were “undecided,” only 21 percent of women said they would consider proposing to a man, compared to 30 percent who said they’d never consider it.

    I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, given that weddings are all about tradition. Who loves tradition more than traditionalists? But even when I asked men and women I consider to be almost dangerously liberal if the woman ought to propose, they all clutched their pearls at once.

    “It’s THAT sad for the woman to propose?” I mass-emailed.

    A work friend sort of summed up the general sentiment of the female response when she replied, “No, not sad, but weird.” My high school pal went a step further when she called lady proposals “effed and desperate.” (Form an opinion, high school pal!) Even a female friend who’s in a gay relationship remarked, “Since I’m the more ‘femme’ partner, I fully believe that were we to get married, my girlfriend would have to do the asking and ring-buying.”

    Really? Really, you lunatics?

    True, a few of the guys I asked claimed they’d would be “flattered” if a lady proposed, but I have trouble buying that old line. Particularly because one guy admitted that since most guys think the onus is still on them to do the asking, a guy who doesn’t probably isn’t totally sold on marriage.

    The issue at heart seems to be that even the unconventional LIKE the traditionalism of marriage. (OK, people who are unconventional enough to vote for Obama but still believe in state-regulated monogamy, and women who demand equality and respect, but also want a self-programming coffee maker. You know, like Beyoncé.) And tradition dictates that a guy’s decision to marry is a hallmark of a man’s maturity and a woman’s desirability.

    In short? If a guy’s not proposing, he’s either not grown up enough, or you’re not good enough.

    In my opinion, it’s one thing if you’re in a committed relationship and marriage isn’t important to you. Things become problematic when we still think of a guy’s asking us to marry him as proof that we’re worthy of being asked. It’s that kind of “if you marry me, you validate me” logic that dissuades me from thinking that some women are in it for anything other than the blood diamonds and dangerous cake knives.

    Look, I don’t know anything about marriage or proposals. I’m a secular humanist with health insurance and ring-non-conducive manhands. And I’m totally happy for / respectful of my girlfriends who do want to lock it down with a dude. I just think they should be able to arrange it in a way that engenders a sense of equality from the get-go, and I’m disturbed by the number of women who are willing to admit that asking a guy to marry you is to sacrifice the litmus test of whether he actually likes you like that. Shouldn’t you kind of know?

    http://www.lemondrop.com/2010/05/28/waiting-for-the-guy-to-propose-youre-ruining-it-for-everybody/

  9. Nafikiri Hakuna neno kwa msichana kuanza.
    Maana kuna wanaume wengine ni waoga au wana aibu ya kuanza ..au wako “slow ”
    Kwahiyo mi Naona ni sawa tu ..

Andika maoni yako

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